FBI arrested 10 alleged Russian Spies this week (+1 in Cypress, though he got away — maybe you shouldn’t have given an international spy bail?). Yes that’s right, we are hereby going to talk about Russian spies in U.S.
Reportedly, these individuals had been living in the United States for years, some since the Clinton Administration. These long-term “sleeper agents” were well-trained, and had great cover stories including multi-million dollar real-estate firms and financial planning jobs. The only thing they apparently lacked were actual connections to American secrets. Government officials believe that the agents’ access to confidential information
Experts speculate that the long-term agents may have simply been in the United States just in case there was some conflict between the two nuclear superpowers.
What the agents lacked in valuable information, they made up for in awesome cloak and dagger techniques! The story doesn’t disappoint spy fanatics, with apparent brush-by exchanges in a busy train station, forged passports, bag drops, and even a money cache buried in an upstate New York field!
Analysts are puzzled by the small spy network. The Russian agents mainly kept abreast political news, through publicly accessible newspapers, magazines, and possibly even social networks. In fact, several of the spies have Facebook profiles, including Anna Chapman and Mikhail Semenko (note to Russia: work on spy names). Hilariously, Mr.Semenko’s girlfriend recently posted a picture of him on Facebook carrying her in his arms. The caption: “with a Russian spy.” It’s unknown if she was actually aware.
Ms.Chapman, on the other hand, has posted “hot” pictures of herself. I guess if you want to blend in with American society in 2010, u got2 post ur pics. You can even see her LinkedIn profile! What a world we live in! Notice that she lists the fact she speaks Russian on a native level — these are the dumbest spies ever!
Luckily, Russian-American relations shouldn’t be negatively affected by the episode. The Obama administration has had an increasingly positive relationship with the Russian government, pursuing mutual interests including reducing nuclear proliferation, and lowering the number of active nuclear bombs.
Overall, this is a strange episode. But it’s incredibly heartening that the country is reacting to this with concern, but also amusement. We’ve come a long way from the days of the Cold War and, without a doubt, the world is a better place because of it.